I Choose You
by her ocean eyes
Summary: Post Neverland. After their return from Neverland Emma gets to know that Neal is alive and well in Storybrooke. Soon she finds herself riding down an emotional rollercoaster ride because she knows she has to choose between Neal, her first love, and Captain Hook of all people, a man she got to know - and maybe even to love - during their trip. One-Shot. Captain Swan


_**A/N: This is a post Neverland one-shot, dealing with the love triangle between Neal, Emma and Killian and I guess when you know some of my other one-shots you know this is basically just some Captain Swan goodness.**_

_**I really like the idea of Belle, Red and Emma being best buddies so this is what happens when Emma's feeling are on a roller coaster ride and Red and Belle decide to help her figure out what she feels. I hope you enjoy!**_

_Disclaimer: None of this is mine, not the characters, not the storyline. When it would be Meghan would be on-screen like forever and Emma and Killian would already be canon._

* * *

**I Choose You**

The cocoa has been cold for a while by now but she still stirs it as if she would want it to cool down. She is completely wrapped up in her own thoughts, she doesn't notice anything that happens around her. Only as someone knocks on the desk she sits at she finally looks up, her green eyes meet another pair of green ones. Her mother's best friend looks down at Emma with a soft but concerned smile on her face, next to her stands Belle, Gold's girlfriend and one of Red's best friends.

"Are you alright?" Ruby asks and honestly Emma just wants to tell her she is not. Since she returned to Storybrooke together with her family - and Regina and _Hook_ - her whole world has been turned around. Everything has changed. Storybrooke has a few new citizens and they come from the Enchanted Forest. Mulan, Aurora and Phillip joined Storybrooke's society not so long ago and they brought someone else along with them. Neal. Emma thought he was dead because the last time she saw him had been as he fell through the portal, mortally wounded. But he is not. Neal is alive and kicking. And she doesn't know what to think about it. Neverland has changed her. Before Neverland she had been sure that she loved Neal but right now she doesn't believe that anymore. She is so confused and as she looks into Ruby's eyes now she knows that the she-wolf knows that she is not alright.

"What's wrong, Emma?" the waitress asks and Emma sighs but then Belle clears her throat and shifts her weight uncomfortably.

"I think I should go now," she states but Red grabs her arms.

"We all should, we can take a walk, the three of us, if you don't mind, Emma," Ruby says and looks to Belle and then to Emma. The blonde sighs, runs her fingers through her hair and then she stands up slowly.

"Sounds good," she murmurs and the two brunettes exchange a worried look. As Emma pulls five bucks out of her jeans Red stops her.

"Don't. It's on the house tonight." Emma smiles a grateful but small smile. The three women exit the inn and start to walk down the main street, Emma taking the lead, Ruby in the middle, Emma to her left, Belle to her right.

"What's going on, Emma?" Red asks again and the blonde lets out a shaky breath.

"Since... Since we came back from Neverland- I-" She tries to get a hold of her thoughts, tries to form them into words but they slip away again and again.

"Take a deep breath, Emma," Belle says and Emma gives her a surprised look. Till now she hasn't even realized that the blue-eyed woman was still with them.

"Neal is alive," she says finally and the women stop almost dead in their tracks.

"What's the problem with that?" Belle asks and Emma runs her fingers through her hair again.

"That-" She hesitates and sighs, taking in her surroundings. She takes in a deep shaky breath as she realizes where they are. "I'm- I'm not... Happy about that," she finally admits and both of her friends look at her frowning. "I- I mean I am happy that he _lives_ but..." Belle is the first to understand.

"What happened in Neverland?" she asks and this time Emma is the one who shifts her weight uncomfortably before she looks around again and Red and Belle do too.

"We're at the docks," Red states, both of her eyebrows raised in surprise and Emma nods.

"Yes..." She can't stand their worried gazes so she turns around and looks at the sea. A calming sight that she learned to love during her time in Neverland.

"What happened?" Belle repeats and places a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"I-" She pauses again before she _finally_ starts talking. "While we were in Neverland I worried about Henry all the time and most of the nights I couldn't sleep and-" She takes a step forward until she leans against the railing at the docks. Belle and Ruby join her and this time Emma is in their middle.

"Hook?" Belle asks and Emma nods, still starring at the sea. But then her gaze finds the _Jolly Roger_ and her heart skips a beat.

"Did you sleep with-" Ruby starts but the blonde looks at her almost in horror.

"Gods, _no_!" she exclaims and Ruby starts to grin as her cheeks turn red. "I wanted to, but we didn't."

"What happened instead?" the she-wolf asks and Emma shifts her weight again.

"We talked for what felt like forever. First about things of no importance, then..." She pauses.

* * *

_"What happened to Milah?" she asks one night and Killian looks at her caught by surprise._

_"It's nothing you really want to know, love" he says calmly and Emma joins him at the helm, invading his private space just like he did so many times before with hers._

_"But I want to." Killian looks at her with one raised eyebrow._

_"Are you sure?" As Emma nods he tells her everything. After he finishes talking she tells him about Neal, then he tells her about Baelfire and they talk everything and anything for what feels like an eternity. It's the night she opens up to him and finally trusts him completely. It's the night he starts to call her "my love" instead of just "love"._

* * *

"... then it turned into something more personal." Killian stops dead in his tracks as he hears her voice. Actually he is just on his way back to his ship but now that he hears her voice he hides in the shadows.

"Do you-" The crocodile's girlfriend starts but she hesitates.

"What? Love him?" Emma prompts and laughs humorlessly. "I thought I loved Neal and now..." She lets out a frustrated huff. "I didn't sign up for this emotional rollercoaster ride! And I don't know what to do anymore!" she says and even though he can't see her face he recognizes the tone in her voice and he knows that she is crying. "What am I gonna do now?" she asks helplessly and as Killian looks over to the women he sees how Belle and the other woman hug his Swan tightly.

"You have to make a decision," the woman he doesn't know says. He doesn't need to know that she chooses the crocodile's son over him. So he does the only thing he can, he turns around and walks away before he can hear her answer.

* * *

_"Do you still love him?" he asks her a few nights after she opened up to him._

_"I guess I do. I never allowed myself to love anyone else since him but I can't- I don't love him the way I did before he..." She stops._

_"Before he abandoned you?" he asks carefully and she nods, looking at the stars. "Maybe you just love the idea of having a family with him. I mean after all Henry is your and his son." She walks away after that, not because she is angry but because she starts to think he is right._

* * *

Emma lets out a shallow breath.

"How?" she asks and Ruby shoves her playfully.

"How about making a list with pros and cons?" the she-wolf asks and Emma rolls her eyes.

"How old am I?" she asks but a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth.

"It's not such a bad idea, you know?" Belle intervenes and both women shoot her a curious look.

"You serious?" Emma asks and the fairytale princess nods.

"I mean like what good they did and what bad..." The blonde raises one eyebrow skeptically.

"They both did some bad things. Ki-_Hook_ is a pirate. He tried to kill you at least twice or even three times, Belle. He tried to kill Cora, he wanted to kill Rumpelstiltskin, he allied with Regina and Cora and whoever could bring him to his revenge... And Neal... He left me, he framed me, he told me he didn't believe in me, in my abilities..." Emma stops astonished and Red and Belle look at her curiously.

"What?" Ruby asks. Emma frowns and runs her fingers through her hair.

"Hook is the bad guy and Neal the good one but... Killian never hurt me. He ran around and hurt basically everyone but me while Neal hurt no one _but_ me." Belle raises one eyebrow.

"What is that supposed to mean?" the brunette asks. "Are you choosing _Hook_? His heart is rotten and-"

"_No_! It's not. His heart is not rotten," Emma immediately interrupts the princess. "He may have done bad things in his past but he _changed_! Hook is gone and there is just Killian Jones. The man who came back for me-" She laughs dryly. "The only man who ever came back for me. Maybe he was right all along and I just fell in love with the idea of having a happy little family with Neal and not with Neal himself... Because after all I think I love-" She stops and he looks at Red and then back at Belle, who both grin at her knowingly. "You planned this, didn't you?" she asks a smile making her way on her lips. "Even you, Belle? He tried to kill you!" The blue-eyed brunette smiles widely.

"Don't get me wrong, I like Neal, I really do, he is somewhat of my step-son but... You know, I was wrong when I said Hook has a rotten heart. Rumple told me what happened in Neverland, how Hoo-_Killian_ gave up his revenge and helped even his nemesis to find Henry... He has changed, just like Rumple has changed - for me, and for Neal too. And the pirate changed for you, Emma," she explains and Emma's cheeks turn pink.

"So you admit you love him then?" Ruby asks and Emma lets out another huff.

"I guess I already did, didn't I?" the blonde asks almost sheepishly and the women next to her chuckle and exchange a look.

"Kinda," they say in unison and Emma raises an eyebrow.

"Did you practice that?" They exchange another look.

"We did," they say - again at the same time.

"You are creepy," the sheriff princess laughs and stares up at the starlit sky. "So there's no turning back anymore," she murmurs.

"Actually I think this ship has sailed a long time ago..." Red says and Emma laughs just at how ridiculous this statement is.

"I guess she has..." Emma says and when both of her friends frown at her she brushes a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "The _Jolly Roger _is a "she"," Emma smiles.

* * *

_"Will you teach me how to sail it?" Emma asks a few nights after he made her think about Neal and what she feels for him._

_"Her," Killian corrects and Emma raises one eyebrow in surprise._

_"Come again?" she says and he gives her a crooked smile._

_"The _Jolly Roger_ is a she." He strokes over the helm tenderly. "She's a lady," he says smiling and Emma laughs._

_"A lady?" Killian shoots her a death glare._

_"Don't make fun of my ship or me," he growls and Emma lifts her hands in defense._

_"I would never do such a thing, no need to worry, Hook." He leans forward to her and her heart skips a beat as she feels his breath on her face._

_"When you want me to teach you how to sail her you should probably start calling me "Killian", _Emma_," he says and he makes her name sound like something sinful. Her breath hitches and she hastily takes a step back, not wanting to be too close to him._

_"Alright, _Killian_," she replies. Time passes by quickly this night, while he shows her where port and starboard are, and how to stir his ship she always feels his breath in the back of her neck. That night Emma realizes that she has _feelings_ for him. She doesn't know what kind of feelings but she knows she has some and they are far more than just pure, sexual longing._

* * *

He doesn't even try to avoid her. On his way to her flat he has made up his mind, he knows what to tell her, how to say good-bye to her. Because when he can't have her he sees no point in staying in Storybrooke. He heard that the giant and the dwarfs somehow were able to grow some magic beans again and he will just ask one of them to give him one so he can go away, wherever _away_ might be. He won't stay to see her happier with somebody else while he knows that he should be the one she should be with. As he hears her walking up the stairs he disappears in the shadows of the wall. He watches her as she opens the door, a small smile on her lips. His heart beats painfully in his chest because all he can think about is that she thinks _he_ will make her happy. The door swings open and he steps out of the shadows, scaring her to death.

"Hello, my love," he greets and it feels like the worst joke ever now that he knows she will never be _his_ love. But she smiles at him, the same soft smile on her lips he has seen so often during their nightly conversations.

"Killian," she says and it hurts him that she sounds _happy_ to see him. "What are you doing here?" He sighs and decides to just tell her why he's here straight ahead.

"I want to say goodbye," he says and watches the smile on her face fade away.

"Why would you say goodbye?" she asks.

"I'm leaving," he answers brusquely.

"Why?" she asks, her face reflects nothing but hurt and Killian doesn't understand why.

"I won't lie to you, Emma. I overheard you talking at the docks tonight and since you seem to have made up your mind I decided it would be better if I just skip town." Her mouth falls open and then he sees tears forming in her beautiful green eyes.

"You are going to _leave_, _now_?" she asks, her voice trembling in a mix of hurt and anger.

"You give me no reason to stay," he says coldly and Emma gasps for air.

"What?" she says. "I give you no reason to stay? What's wrong with you? After _everything_ you decide to leave the town, _me_?" Her voice gets louder with every word she says until she finally yells her last words.

"It's not that you would need me. I don't want to change your mind, lass, but I want you to know that I am the one who would make you happy!" he yells in her face and she laughs in his. A loud humorless laugh.

"I fucking _know_!" she yells and he stops himself from saying whatever he had wanted to say.

"What?" he asks startled and Emma crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"The next time you eavesdrop some private conversation you should stay till its end otherwise you would have known I chose you," she replies.

"You chose _me_?" he asks and Emma can't help but chuckle. Then she lifts one of her hands tentatively to cup his face with it.

"I will always choose you," she says softly and he leans into her touch. But then she quickly withdraws her hand. "Except when you pull of another thing like that." He smiles.

"I promise I won't." She smiles up at him and he leans down to her to capture her lips in a tender kiss. As they part again Emma smirks up at him.

"Now wanna show me how you can make me happy?" she asks playfully and he grins, leans forward and kisses her again, this time hungrily. Softly he pushes her back until they stand in the floor of Emma's flat. Then the door shuts close behind them.

**the end**

* * *

_**A/N: Soo, that's it. Emma made her choice - not that you ever doubted who she'd choose, right? Or babies are together and happy so I'm out! Leave a review if you liked it, pretty please?**_


End file.
